Are you living as the watered down version of yourself?
Have you ever experienced the taste of a watered down drink?
Like when your iced coffee has been sitting in the sun for a little too long? And now it doesn’t taste quite like coffee anymore, but instead a really lame, weak, unsatisfying version of itself?
Up until today, I’ve been that iced coffee. Showing up as this dulled, filtered, watered down version of myself for the better part of the last 15 years.
Why? Due to my NUMBER 1 FEAR.....
The fear of not being liked or accepted by you.
I’ve come to realize what’s been holding me back from stepping into my true purpose and power, is the fact that I’ve truly cared about what people think of me. Like, REALLY cared. There’s been this quiet voice showing up, asking before I spoke, before I shared, before I posted: “But what will they think of this? What will they say? Who will this resonate with? Should I tone it down, or perhaps say it a different way? Will they block me/unfriend me/roll their eyes at me/talk about me/not like me?”
So here’s what I've found is the main problem with that type of thinking:
It strangles you. It dulls you. It takes away your shine. Your purpose. Your true essence.
It stops the people who DO resonate with YOU and who you TRULY are from connecting with you. From being helped by you. From being served by you.
And you know what else?
Some of you won’t like me anyway. Some of you will judge me and not agree with what I do or say or experience, whether I’m filtering it or toning it down or not. Whether I’m a watered down version of myself or truly showing up as all of ME.
So I’m done with the compromise.
I’m done because I want to have a nurturing, loving, messy and secure relationship with ME, regardless of the results. Regardless of my imperfections. Regardless of who leans or falls or runs away. That will have to be ok. Scary, different, sad, but still OK.
Now I don’t mean I’m giving myself permission to start sputtering obscenities, go on negative rants or become the female version of Jim Carrey’s character in “Liar Liar.”
I’m simply giving myself permission to be ME. At FULL VOLUME. To let go, to share myself, my experience, and my passion. Unapologetically and with love & imperfection.
I’m giving myself permission to be free. To never trade safety for purpose. To truly begin the journey of loving myself unconditionally. And acknowledging my fear in order for it to be healed.
Like a very wise coach I know once said, “When we care what others think it's because we are seeking the confirmation/affirmation/validation from them, that we are meant to give to ourselves."
Let’s give to ourselves exactly what we need and deserve, ladies and gents.
And vow to always choose strong-ass coffee.